What if Allegations of Sexual Assault are False? by @KW_Writes

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“What if the allegations of sexual assault or abuse are false?”

This is the question proposed during a conversation I had recently with a good friend of mine. Domestic and sexual assault have been in the news quite a bit lately, from Amber Heard’s restraining order against Johnny Depp to the six-month sentence of Brock Turner for his rape of an unconscious female.

“If Amber Heard’s stories are even true,” he said, sitting across the table from me in the coffee shop. Random muzak played softly over the speakers, providing background music to the crowds of people rushing outside the window nearby.

I had been people-watching, but at his comment, my head whipped around so fast I feared I might have whiplash.

“If the allegations are true?” I asked, shoving down my knee-jerk reaction, which was to yell, “awww hellll noooo.” Admittedly, I am biased. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I have extended family members – to whom I no longer speak – who insist that my abuse never happened.

“Well, yeah,” he said.

I was speechless for a moment, but I realized two important points: he was speaking from a place of fear, and his statement is not all that uncommon.

Living in Fear of False Allegations of Sexual Assault

I internally took a step back, giving my friend some compassion, and let my rage take the background for a bit. He is a teacher, both in a church and public school. He has been extensively educated about how to conduct himself around children of all ages, especially those with whom he works, mostly teenagers.

I have known for a long time that there are certain activities he will not do if it means he will be alone with students, because that’s what he has been instructed to do to “be safe.” If he has to meet with kids, he makes sure the nearest door is open and accessible to anyone walking by. He tries to meet with multiple kids at once, and has no shades or curtains on his office windows or doors. He has no online relationships with kids at all. Everything is out in the open.

And still this fear persists, of kids who could falsely accuse him of sexual assault or abuse. His life, family, career, and future could very well be ruined.

But is this fear based in reality?

How Often Do False Allegations of Sexual Assault Actually Occur?

“What would be the advantage of somebody making up stories of domestic violence or sexual assault?” I asked.

He considered the question for a moment, lips pursed and forehead crinkled.

“I mean, really, think about it,” I continued. “I think about Kesha recently suing one of her producers for sexual abuse, and about Amber Heard who is chased by the press, and the victim of Brock Turner. I think about my own situation, in which I was ostracized and out on my own at 17 years of age. What exactly would be the advantages to coming forward with this tragic information about your own life? Especially if it isn’t true?”

According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center in their Statistics About Sexual Violence, false reports of sexual assault or abuse range from only 2% to 10%. Backed up by The National Center for the Prosecution of Violence against Women, “The realistic and evidence-based estimate of 2-8% thus suggests that the American public dramatically overestimates the percentage of sexual assault reports that are false.”

Our Cultural Stereotypes Regarding Sexual Assault

In other words, we all think that false allegations happen a lot more frequently than they actually do, partly due to what is referred to as “Rape Culture.” We don’t say that men rape women, we say that women are promiscuous. We call it “sex without consent,” instead of “rape.” It’s an automatic assumption that women “get themselves raped” by being drunk, or dressing provocatively, or simply walking around. It’s ridiculously short statute of limitations that vary per state for prosecuting sexual assault.

Is it surprising that sexual assault is the least reported crime? Over 60% of sexual assaults are not reported to police.

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The Reality of Sexual Assault Reporting

Sexual assault allegations fly in the face of many of the stereotypes that we believe in our culture. In reality, victims of sexual assault and abuse know their perpetrators and may even be groomed over time. The suspects involved may not fit the stereotype of a rapist or pedophile. There is rarely physical violence or weapons used, and victims may not show physical injury.

Because of the tendency to shame victims instead of perpetrators, the socioeconomic status, age, physical appearance, and mental health of victims may be called out to “prove” that the allegations are false due to a “lack of credibility.” Victims may also feel unsure about their experiences due to the traumatic nature of the crimes perpetrated against them, so they end up not reporting sexual assault until days, weeks, or even years later.

The irony is that rare false allegations of sexual assault and abuse most often resemble the stereotypes, including that the perpetrator is a stranger, used violence during the attack, and there are signs of physical injury, and the victim is hysterical and provides, with absolute certainty, details of the event.

The reality of reporting sexual assault or abuse is that only those who fit the stereotypes are believed, and those reporting sexual assault or abuse do not fit the popular stereotypes.

To quote The National Center for the Prosecution of Violence against Women, “To move beyond this issue of false reporting, one of the most important steps we can take is therefore to recognize that the “red flags” that raise suspicion in the minds of most people actually represent the typical dynamics of sexual assault in the real world.”

There are truly no advantages to making allegations of sexual assault or abuse, false or real. Just ask any survivor who has pursued justice for these crimes in the real world.

Bio: Kelly Wilson is an author and comedian who entertains and inspires with stories of humor, healing, and hope. She is the author of Live Cheap and Free and Don’t Punch People in the Junk. Her latest book, Caskets From Costco, is a finalist in the 18th annual Foreword Reviews’ INDIEFAB Book of the Year Awards, and has also been chosen as a finalist in the 10th annual National Indie Excellence Book Awards.Image may be NSFW.
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As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Kelly writes and speaks about finding hope in the process of recovery. Kelly writes for a living and lives with her Magically Delicious husband, junk-punching children, dog, cat, and stereotypical minivan in Portland, Oregon. Read more about her at http://www.wilsonwrites.com.

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